About Me

From the young age of three I took to ballet with ease. I simply loved everything about it. I remember briefly attempting other hobbies, such as ice skating, gymnastics, art, and acting, however nothing ever compared. I felt as if I was born to dance because my body easily and naturally took on the art form. By the age of seven, I was placed in intermediate/advanced dance classes and never seemed to look back. As time went on, dance grew more and more serious to me. What was once a beloved hobby transformed into a passion, then to an obsession.

I was fortunate enough to train at some of the best dance schools all over the country. Everywhere I trained, I remember receiving multiple comments about my body. Either my legs were too short, my but was too large, or my thighs were too thick (to just mention a few). Although I possessed the talent, that simply wasn't enough. Eventually, while in high school where I danced for hours each day, I started to seriously question my body. My body image issues soon translated into a slight diet, then into slight restriction, and then into seriously dangerous behaviors. Before I knew it, I had developed an eating disorder.

I thought I had it all under control. I Thought that if I just did it for a little while, I could stop with no problem. I thought that I would just lose a little bit of weight then maintain that with no problem. Boy was I wrong! Once I noticed that my unhealthy behaviors got me into a higher level, more lead roles, and more attention, I was reluctant to stop. My disorder gave me a rush of confidence I never had before. The smaller I became, the better I felt (so I thought). It wasn't until I graduated high school that I realized I couldn't stop. I was addicted. I could no longer control my thoughts which revolved around food and my body, and I could no longer control my behaviors, which were destructive and dangerous. I realized that a change needed to be made. at 18 years old I sought treatment for my eating disorder. Although this facility was able to restore my weight, they did not restore my mind. Because of this, I suffered a dangerous relapse once I returned to ballet.

By now, I had reached a weight lower than ever before and consequently could no longer dance. My life was coming apart. It took me nearly dying in my moms arms, not being able to walk, and not being able to give any blood for me to realize that I was soon going to lose my life to this illness. Finally, I chose to seek a different kind of treatment which focuses more on restoring the mind. From that day on I choose recovery everyday: Every second i'm faced with a negative thought, every time i'm scared to eat a food, every time I question my weight or shape, I now choose recovery.

My story has really been life changing. I never imagined having an eating disorder, I never imagined having to quit ballet, and I never thought I would have to fight for my life at such a young age. This illness is now my testimony and not my end. This is just the beginning!